Through Labor

I started labor (I think) around 6 pm on Monday, February 21st. I've been timing contractions and they are coming pretty consistent, some stronger than others. Needless to say it's past midnight and there is no way I could fall asleep with this pain. It's not unmanageable yet but I am so getting a taste of what's coming... I am not scared of the birth itself but more terrified of the crazy weather outside. After an entire week of spring weather- sunshine and very pleasant temperatures, tonight of all nights it started raining and later on snowing, turning into slick ice. I just hope we don't have to rush anywhere during the night, because most probably I will end up at the hospital instead of the birth center. I'm praying that labor won't develop so fast and we could safely make it to the birth center sometime in the morning.

Meantime, I am trying to find my own methods of dealing with the contractions and the pain they bring along so I can make it through the night. One thing that I came across during my research on birth is the below text. I am reading it over and over again and it does help me, it's putting things in a very good perspective.

"In a few moments my baby will arrive. For the next few hours I will be exposed to labor’s demands. It is now that I must make a choice. I am free to choose, and so I choose...

I choose love...
This is my baby’s birth day. Today I will put my needs, my desires, my hopes and my feelings on hold so I can concentrate on giving my baby the birth he needs.

I choose joy...
I will not give into the temptation to wallow in self-pity. I will celebrate each contraction as one step closer to holding my baby. I will remind myself that this is the event I have waited for so many months.

I choose peace...
I will not battle my body or my baby. I will simply allow my baby to use my body as an entrance point for life.

I choose patience...
I will overlook the inconveniences of labor. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will be thankful for the time to savor this change in my life. I will use this time to put my heart and mind in a state of joy to meet my baby.

I choose kindness...
I will be kind to my baby, he is alone and he may be frightened. I will not allow myself to benefit by putting him at risk.

I choose goodness...
I will not let myself give into the temptation to use labor as an excuse to be rude, angry, mean, hurtful, lazy or prideful. This is my first opportunity to teach my baby about relationships.

I choose faithfulness...
Today, I will keep my promise to my baby. My family will not question my love.

I choose gentleness...
Nothing is won by force. If I raise my voice may it only be in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of me.

I choose self control...
I will not allow myself to lower my standards simply because I am in labor. I will continue to strive for excellence regardless of the pain.

In a few moments my baby will arrive. For the next few hours I will be exposed to labor’s demands. It is now that I must make a choice." (From Birthing Naturally)

Valentine's Letter to my Baby

Dear Alex,

There are only a few days separating us from the special moment of meeting you in person and I am getting more and more excited about it. I must admit that the news of your existence took me by surprise, but with each week that I felt you grow inside me, I got to love you more and more each day. I haven't met you yet and can't really picture if you're going to look more like daddy or mommy, but I already know that you will be a perfect little baby that will bring us happiness and joy. I am sure there will be some tears along the way, but we will figure out what's wrong and what to do.

I promise I will try to be the best mom I can be. I promise I will love you unconditionally and take good care of you, I will put your needs before mine and I will protect you as much as I can. I will be there for you in both happy and difficult moments, I will support you in what you want to do and I will do my best to prepare you for this life the best way I can.

You are a gift from God for us and I will treasure you forever!

Love,

Mommy

Waiting Period

 

It's been three weeks since I stopped working and I am not complaining. I've been home, enjoying this time very much. I got to finish the nursery: worked on a cabinet and a little table, sorted all the stuff I got at the baby showers, washed and folded all the little clothes etc. The room is ready, all we need now is a baby.

Michael and I find the nursery so cozy, we find ourselves sitting in there some evenings just relaxing and imagining that room coming to life when the sound of our precious baby will fill it up.

However, baby Alex is not giving any clue he's in a hurry to show up quite yet. As much as I want to be done already, there is no sign of me starting 'the fun' earlier than the due date. I am now at the stage where even just walking aches, I have finally started feeling pregnant aka uncomfortable and heavy.

Due date is next Saturday, 2/19. All we can do these days is sit tight, have our bag ready and wait...